Monday, September 26, 2016


Seldom known
Often misconstrued.
Hard to believe that the ones closest to you...
that these are the tactics they use to abuse.

Reality is... that you (I) don't mean much.
That desire for closeness, family.
Is the illusion that we desire, but has us out of touch.
For, my presence...essence...
is only used to get through.
It's my past that's remembered, embittered,
and held on to.

In an effort to enhance the illusion...
Changes are made,
plans are laid, and
sacrifices by the dozens.
Only in the end to realize we've been played.
Which was their plan from the beginning...
even when they said it wasn't.


The years that has passed...
The experiences that went unshared...
The moments that I was cried for...
wished for...
and was never there.
I wish to rekindle...
I pray to embrace...
I long to relive.
Yet, it's only regret...
day after day that I face.


Time has continued.
And individuals have grown.
I have aged, and yet,
my mistakes live on.
Feelings have changed
love for me has dwindled to a drip.
While my replacements, love for them,
like a raging river, love flows on.
And still, my illusion won't let me quit.

You see,
It's all that I have to hold on to.
The dream, the desire, the wish...
to be closer than what I am,
to be truly loved for who I've become,
and not who I was.
To be seen for the man that I am,
and to believe that that is more desirable
than achieving retribution, revenge on
the boy that I was.

That is where my hope lies
and my truth lives.



Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Something to Ponder

If I was to tell you that evil doesn't exist,
would you believe me?
Or would you ponder on the happenings in the world.
Then come to the conclusion that I was lying?


Both are true.
Evil doesn't exist,
but is manifested by the choices that are made.
Demons are powerless
and can not exist in a pure soul.
But those who CHOOSE to give in to sinful nature
welcome evil and empower demons to dwell within.

This is how evil is manifested in the world.

Nothing is by happenstance.
The Bible calls it testing.
In nomenclature of today
it is giving in to your unmoral, fleshly desires.
This plants a seed... that grows like a weed.
Spreading to every part of your mental, physical and spiritual body.
Pulling your strings,
creating a mental screen...
that will invade your mind, heart, soul and dreams.
Until it becomes your actions.

Voila, evil exist.