To All Who Are Afraid

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Chris,

Have you experienced life beyond dreams…
Pain beyond screams?
Beheld a plethora of emotions…
Only to realize none are as real as they seem?
Felt hot tears trailing down your face
As cold wind from crystal blue skies leaves dry salt tracks
As you reminisce of the last time you had a warm embrace.
Reoccurring thoughts plague the mind
Of the last time… you gazed into eyes that told the story of love…
Imagined in the heart, fantasized in the mind, lost in the past, and in the present, you desire to find.
Only to run it away, why… you say?
Fear of the unknown, better yet, fear of the returning of the painful decay…
Of releasing something so precious to you, not to receive anything in return…
Except for pain… pain that doesn’t go away… pain that is not physically felt,
but mentally torments you day by day.
Self sabotage? Possibly.
Guarding, protecting your heart… most likely…
Not leaving much room left for trust.
Creating a strange predicament…
Wanting love, intimacy, a true relationship…
But without trust, the only thing you establish is lust.
Meaningless sex, mentally un-perplexed… unable to affect or infect the soul.
The effect of such… endless trials of trying to fill your emotional hole.
Again, I ask…
Have you experienced life beyond dreams?
Pain beyond screams?
Once you stop trying to protect yourself and let go.
Trust GOD.
He has provided you with more than you think…
And desires to give you more than you will ever need.
All you have to do is trust Him, let Him love you, and…
Believe.

~Flowriter

Have you seen my heart?

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Have you seen my heart?

It’s no where to be found
I’ve looked high, I’ve looked inside
I’ve searched the ground.
It’s no where around.

I keep telling myself,
“one day it’ll show up”,
“it’ll come back”,
“it’s not too late”.
I’m starting to realize…
It’s too late for all of that.

The blood that is in my veins
that once caused my heart to thump.
Now, flows into an abyss,
A bottomless pit
That the deepest cut could never fill up.

I try to tell myself to care,
Because maybe they do.
I attempt to believe that they need me.
But even a blind man can see
With all the years apart,
The void grew.

Plus, there’s the reliable,
The dependable,
The confidant
The new used to be you.

Whew…
Have you seen my heart?

I even tried to replace it with new, artificial means.
It’s a good strong heart,
Has good intentions,
But it doesn’t stop the hope
And never-ending the dreams.

The loss I have.
The memories I console
The decisions and trades I made.
Have me less than whole.

Have you seen my heart?

~Flowriter.

Learning To Climb

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Casually climbing to top a hill
Journeying to where I never been.
Hoping to find a place of peace to be still.
Putting my mind at ease, strengthing my will.
And hopefully not have to start again.

For as in life, to top a hill, there's many ways to climb.
There's the steady and straight. The quick tend to break.
Then, there's those like myself, casually strolling on paths that wind.

Praying that my legs endure.
For the journey never seems to end.
Excited, at first, because there's so much to explore.
Step after step, it loses its luster, not excited no more.
Just the hopes of a grandiose traveller experiencing a bend.

Realizing that, I could be off track.
Because I seem so far from where I want to be.
Much to far to turn back, and honestly,
can't fathom the thought of that.
I pick me a mark to get to before dark, a strong majestic tree.

Underneath that tree I stayed.
More than halfway to my goal.
Comfortable with its nourishment I became.
And happy with its daytime shade.
I lost the purpose I set out on this stroll.

I could be found,
years later all withered and gray.
Sitting underneath that tree, head slumped down.
Eyes focused on the ground.
Disappointed, because I settled for only halfway.

Lesson: Regardless of how you climb...don't ever stop.Doesn't matter the mountains you face, continue moving to your goal, the top.Once there, seek another goal to take its place.

~Flowriter

Kwansaba Poem

Lost my memory but still self intouch
Given away my heart, broken by lust
Done all that I can to sustain
forgive me and forgave, still no change
How easily I forget, the pain remains
Sullen feelings and a strong salty taste
Tear tracks show proof on my face.


~Flowriter