Friday, February 24, 2012

Not to be called by any other name

Oh corruptible mind, lost in time.
Stuck in the past, future ahead seems so far behind.
Lost in my illusion ,or delusion should I say,
of emotions of grandeur.
More specifically those that love can portray.
All in my mind, the playing tricks on my heart.
It's just that I want something so bad- true love...
only to find a true farce.

Believing I'm special...
My love, my emotions, and all the affection that I have to give.
Only to find, which is always revealed in time, that I...
am no more special, unique, and/or complex than the last man.
Which I now realize, just like he probably did.

So, what is the purpose, the reason behind it all?
Live, enjoy life, eventually fall in love...
then for it all to be taken away and only be left with the fall.
Or maybe that dreaded phrase, "let's just be friends" or
"I'll give you a call".

Does that mean live life bitter?
Not look forward to falling in love at all?
Most definitely not, always look forward to the upliftment, not the fall.
Don't focus on the initial emotion or the commotion that it can bring.
Learn to love yourself for who and what you are.
Once that's done, your heart will sing.

Sing of praises, sing of joy. The partner that you attract then will be true.
Not just a fleeting moment of lustful noise.
They will love you for you and you will love them for the friends that you have became.
It won't be based on lustful acts or physical attributes
Or maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, in love with love,
not to be called by any other name.


Friday, February 17, 2012

This is all I ask....

Create in the moment
A moment of clarity,
A moment of truth.

Show me the way,
The way to live,
The way to love,
Vibrant, pure and closer to you.

I don't know,
No... no, yes I do.
Transition me from the place where I am
To a smooth existence, a bright light leading others, that are like me confused, to you.

Help me;
For, the choices are many,
but my decisions are few.

I'm told that I am a rare precious creation, a jewel...
Your child created, specifically with a purpose, by you.

However, I'm confused, and instead of clarity...
I run to drugs, lust... the addictions that I use.
My spirit yearns to do what is right,
but it's my flesh that has me do what I know I should not do.

I know that I'm his wife...
that he should be the affection of my life,
but my mind, my eyes, my femininity
shows me and tells me that
there are so many other loves'...
lusts to choose.

I say, I'm going to do the right thing.
I bought a replacement for my pawned wedding ring.
Then, I wonder if I'm being true to myself.
He asked me if I was in love with him, I told him no.
Oh God, I need your help!

Create a moment of clarity.
A moment of truth.

Show me the way,
The way to live,
The way to love,
Vibrant, pure and closer to you.

Then, after that...
Give me the strength to follow your instructions through.