Sunday, June 4, 2017

Hills and Valleys

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I bought into the illusion whole-heartedly.
Strange how the thought...no, the scent... better yet, the glimpse..
of hope has kept me afloat.
The days turn into nights,
the nights grow into weeks,
the weeks expand into months...
Low and behold, look at the years.

Hills and valleys
Smiles and tears.

Heart-aches and struggles back then.
Heart-aches and struggles still here.

Hills and valleys.
Hills and valleys.
Less smiles, more tears.

Omniscient, omnipotent, most benevolent & gracious
omnipresent, and dare I say, true loving God...
Am I too little?  Too insignificant?  Too warm?
Or just bound to a life of struggling hard?

Love shouldn't be this difficult.
Life shouldn't be so complex.
The truth shouldn't be so unattainable.

(My life) Walk in the valley of the light and struggle the hills.
(The Wicked) While in the dark on level ground the wicked move and become blessed.
This reality of life has me stressed and the recurrence of this truth gives me chills.

Hills and valleys, I tell you.
umph...
Valleys and hills.


~Flowriter.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Free will. I freely will.

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Free will, a precious gift given.
Free to believe the hype.
Free to follow the masses.
Free to close your mind.
Free to wander around blind.

Or...

Free to see with clarity.

Blind,  I've followed.
Blind, I've read.
Blind, I've believed.
Blind, I became one of the walking dead.

However,

Now my third eye has been opened.
Time to enhance my mind.
Time to prepare my spirit.
Time to ready my body.
Time to speak life over my life.
Ensure that my soul can hear it.

~Flowriter

Monday, March 6, 2017

Okay...

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Let me speak plainly to insure that I am fully understood.
I've noticed that my words and/or actions (at times lack of words/actions)
has been misinterpreted.  Thenceforth, I find myself having to explain myself.

First off, in my youth and even to this day, I have made sacrifices and decisions that go unnoticed, unappreciated, and even twisted to be made as something that it wasn't.  To those who implore those tactics, more power to you.  For I will not, nor attempt to defend myself.  I know that God truly knows my heart.

Now when those hard decisions and choices were being made to my own determent and to the benefit of others, I did not complain nor throw it into to the faces of the benefactors.  I just kept pushing on and attempted and still attempt to be the best Man that I could be.

In my own admission, I walked away from many seeing that the disrespect and coldness towards me had grown.  Instead of defending myself or fighting for what I knew to be my truth, I allowed the talebearers' falsehoods to appear as truth.  This, through the years, allowed hurt, broken relationships, disrespect, and distance to fester and grow.

I clearly see the pain that is felt.  I even understand the loss that is attributed.  However, I also notice that no one has taken the time to come to me and ask me about my truth. Therefore, I believe that conclusions have already been made.  Instead of spending ample time explaining all the situations that came to this instance, I choose to move forward and live my life.  They can believe what they will and live how they like.

Again, I say,

Only God truly knows my heart.

So, paint me as vile person and others as saints...
See only the negative, nothing positive done...
only the "he ain'ts".
"he doesn't", "he won't", "he doesn't ever come".
Explain others faults as me being the one to blame.
But know this, not once did I ever run.
I would speak my peace, (While being called out of my name)
I would tell my truth. (And still, the lies wouldn't change)
I would make the hard and difficult choices... (So others wouldn't have to)
even if that meant that I wasn't able to do what I wanted to do.
Nor have what I wanted to have.

And regardless of all this...
being easily replaced,
constantly disgraced,
and disrespected to an extreme.

I still love.
I still care.
I'm just going to do my own thing.


~Flowriter

Sunday, February 26, 2017

I'm wiser

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They say that it's the ones closest to you that can hurt you the most.
Well, I believe that those are the same ones that can bring out the worst in you.
However, I've been keeping my inner rage in check, but believe me it's been
begging to come out.
Especially when my character, my veracity, and manhood is challenged.
Being the man of extremes that I am, I can not afford to just haphazardly react.
Every reaction must be a well thought out move.
For, I know, that the consequences are great.
I guess wisdom does come with age.



~Flowriter

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

This I Must Say

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All and all it's been a good life.
Ain't had all the money
Or a bunch of shiny things,
but been blessed with a loving family
And a damn good wife.

Hardships, had more than a few.
But the good times, let me tell you...
They sure did pull me through.

The Lord always provided my needs.
Even raised me up strong...
I was the one that did all the wrong.
That I truly believes
And I learned from my bruises.
This I knew, it's never too late to get down on my knees...
And He'd pick me back up...
And I... my pen... and my soul bleeds.

Prayerfully, encouraging you
and a select mindful few.
Coherent and observant enough to enjoy the beauty of life.
Not the distractions of the carnal world,
but the natural world, like the sun rise and set, and the morning dew.

Living can't be bought,
but it sure can be enjoyed.
Don't spend your life chasing that which will rust and disappear.
Enjoy your family... kiss and love on them.  Cherish them.
Hold them near and dear.

Live a life creating memories,
stories for the future to hold.
Live a life giving love.
Success is just a marker along the journey.
It's family taking care of family,
no matter what...
That's the goal.

So,

I tilled my field,
planted my seed,
the harvest was and is plenty.
And my belly is full, my family is kept...
Job well done my son?
May the good Lord say, "yep".


~Flowriter

Monday, January 16, 2017

Growing tired

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Same games,
same silences,
same unfulfilled hopes,
same unanswered prayers,
and same unmanifested dreams.

~Flowriter

Followers