Friday, October 6, 2017


Rubies drip.
So precious, like diamonds & coal.
Streams & rivers of heat
Glistening, shining, burning from the soul
Emitting flames into the sky
Like burning black gold.

Taken for granted by many.
So desperately needed by few
Pierced, mined for, sought after
Oceans of souls nectar.
Wading through the water with a pan
Hoping for a match, the perfect nugget for two.

Easily transfused.
Diluted and polluted.

Our precious resource depleted.

Earths' blood.




Tis a way to explain...
the life I gain... and the existence I've been left to explore.
Until that glorious day when only peace remains...
or should I say... I exist no more.


Heaven and hell.
Spirit and flesh.
Good and evil.
Wealth and impoverished.

Make sense of the ineffable.
Life lived to dream.
Only to realize the knowledge I've gained...
taught me... I know nothing.

Grasping for truth...
only to hold on to lies.
Searching for love,
but taught to despise.

A mere gander at the world shows that I am not alone.
Many are oblivious... or...
simply refuse to acknowledge what life has shown.
By examples of extreme.


Foolish and wise.
Mortals and God.
Powerful and weak.
Easy and hard.

Puppets on strings...
Living lives that are a fa├žade.
Meaningless goals set by humans...
When the true game is between the devil and God.

You and I.

Yet, we dare not expand our minds.
Instead we waste our time...
Acquiring things, believing that they, or a person,
will bring meaning to life.

When the true meaning of life is... the journey.
The paths and the choices,
the existence...



Are You there?

Passionate cries internally and outloud.
Humbly moving, doing, working...
repressing anger, doing my best to not act out.

Festering, pestering emotions neglectfully leak out.
Spilling forth a rawness, a brashness, a straight-forwardness...
Basically, becoming an asshole to all who come around.

You see,

I've been mentally wore down.

Down on my knees,
forehead on the ground,
tears strolling down my face,
I make my petition to the Almighty
Hoping that a slither of a blessing,
a drop of financial relief,
an inkling of prosperity
could enter my life.
Becoming the grace that he bestows me, increasing my belief.

However, that doesn't seem to be the case.
And disrespect...
seem to be the attributes that He's tied around my waist.

At times I wonder...

Do you care?
Did you hear my prayer?
Is this my lot in life?
Hardship, struggle, and strife.

It's all unknown.
I have so many questions.
I try to keep the faith.
But it's hard when an all powerful, all knowing God...
see's what you are going through...
And all of His answers to your prayers are either"No" or "Wait."


Monday, July 17, 2017


Carnal, times have been rough.
My mind constantly replays stuff.
I miss the days of old,
when I would feel like this, I would
jump a fence or two and come see you.
You'd be like "fuck that shit! Let's go find something to get into".
Now age comes into play.
Your house is thousand of miles away.
It would be a lie if I said that I was cool.
I miss our youth, now I'm called,
"Old school".
Young folks don't have no respect.
Because I'm afraid of the consequences,
the laws have me in check.
Making me keep my hands off of these young folks
and my shank out of they neck.
I never thought that DCash would be in check.
S3P perplexed.
19,16 steps
1 to the 3 heavy reps.
Blood in my body flowing,
causing pulsating veins in my neck.
Right side soldiers wearing skinny jeans
got me ready to disconnect.
Revitalize old folks,
back on the set...
and do what we do best...
cleanse the streets of the busters
and chillout like vets.

But times have changed.
Cell phones, cameras... shit, the fucking internet!
Things just aren't the same.
No such thing as loyalty
Pride or respect.
Can't treat women like queens,
they'd rather have a dude with feminine ways
wearing skinny jeans.

Brother, we are the last of a dying breed.

I'm trying to not let it get to me.
I don't want to catch a case, man.

We've come a long way from old days in the South Bay
of DCash and Spaceman.


Sunday, June 4, 2017

Hills and Valleys

I bought into the illusion whole-heartedly.
Strange how the, the scent... better yet, the glimpse..
of hope has kept me afloat.
The days turn into nights,
the nights grow into weeks,
the weeks expand into months...
Low and behold, look at the years.

Hills and valleys
Smiles and tears.

Heart-aches and struggles back then.
Heart-aches and struggles still here.

Hills and valleys.
Hills and valleys.
Less smiles, more tears.

Omniscient, omnipotent, most benevolent & gracious
omnipresent, and dare I say, true loving God...
Am I too little?  Too insignificant?  Too warm?
Or just bound to a life of struggling hard?

Love shouldn't be this difficult.
Life shouldn't be so complex.
The truth shouldn't be so unattainable.

(My life) Walk in the valley of the light and struggle the hills.
(The Wicked) While in the dark on level ground the wicked move and become blessed.
This reality of life has me stressed and the recurrence of this truth gives me chills.

Hills and valleys, I tell you.
Valleys and hills.


Thursday, March 30, 2017

Free will. I freely will.

Free will, a precious gift given.
Free to believe the hype.
Free to follow the masses.
Free to close your mind.
Free to wander around blind.


Free to see with clarity.

Blind,  I've followed.
Blind, I've read.
Blind, I've believed.
Blind, I became one of the walking dead.


Now my third eye has been opened.
Time to enhance my mind.
Time to prepare my spirit.
Time to ready my body.
Time to speak life over my life.
Ensure that my soul can hear it.


Monday, March 6, 2017


Let me speak plainly to insure that I am fully understood.
I've noticed that my words and/or actions (at times lack of words/actions)
has been misinterpreted.  Thenceforth, I find myself having to explain myself.

First off, in my youth and even to this day, I have made sacrifices and decisions that go unnoticed, unappreciated, and even twisted to be made as something that it wasn't.  To those who implore those tactics, more power to you.  For I will not, nor attempt to defend myself.  I know that God truly knows my heart.

Now when those hard decisions and choices were being made to my own determent and to the benefit of others, I did not complain nor throw it into to the faces of the benefactors.  I just kept pushing on and attempted and still attempt to be the best Man that I could be.

In my own admission, I walked away from many seeing that the disrespect and coldness towards me had grown.  Instead of defending myself or fighting for what I knew to be my truth, I allowed the talebearers' falsehoods to appear as truth.  This, through the years, allowed hurt, broken relationships, disrespect, and distance to fester and grow.

I clearly see the pain that is felt.  I even understand the loss that is attributed.  However, I also notice that no one has taken the time to come to me and ask me about my truth. Therefore, I believe that conclusions have already been made.  Instead of spending ample time explaining all the situations that came to this instance, I choose to move forward and live my life.  They can believe what they will and live how they like.

Again, I say,

Only God truly knows my heart.

So, paint me as vile person and others as saints...
See only the negative, nothing positive done...
only the "he ain'ts".
"he doesn't", "he won't", "he doesn't ever come".
Explain others faults as me being the one to blame.
But know this, not once did I ever run.
I would speak my peace, (While being called out of my name)
I would tell my truth. (And still, the lies wouldn't change)
I would make the hard and difficult choices... (So others wouldn't have to)
even if that meant that I wasn't able to do what I wanted to do.
Nor have what I wanted to have.

And regardless of all this...
being easily replaced,
constantly disgraced,
and disrespected to an extreme.

I still love.
I still care.
I'm just going to do my own thing.


Sunday, February 26, 2017

I'm wiser

They say that it's the ones closest to you that can hurt you the most.
Well, I believe that those are the same ones that can bring out the worst in you.
However, I've been keeping my inner rage in check, but believe me it's been
begging to come out.
Especially when my character, my veracity, and manhood is challenged.
Being the man of extremes that I am, I can not afford to just haphazardly react.
Every reaction must be a well thought out move.
For, I know, that the consequences are great.
I guess wisdom does come with age.


Tuesday, February 21, 2017

This I Must Say

All and all it's been a good life.
Ain't had all the money
Or a bunch of shiny things,
but been blessed with a loving family
And a damn good wife.

Hardships, had more than a few.
But the good times, let me tell you...
They sure did pull me through.

The Lord always provided my needs.
Even raised me up strong...
I was the one that did all the wrong.
That I truly believes
And I learned from my bruises.
This I knew, it's never too late to get down on my knees...
And He'd pick me back up...
And I... my pen... and my soul bleeds.

Prayerfully, encouraging you
and a select mindful few.
Coherent and observant enough to enjoy the beauty of life.
Not the distractions of the carnal world,
but the natural world, like the sun rise and set, and the morning dew.

Living can't be bought,
but it sure can be enjoyed.
Don't spend your life chasing that which will rust and disappear.
Enjoy your family... kiss and love on them.  Cherish them.
Hold them near and dear.

Live a life creating memories,
stories for the future to hold.
Live a life giving love.
Success is just a marker along the journey.
It's family taking care of family,
no matter what...
That's the goal.


I tilled my field,
planted my seed,
the harvest was and is plenty.
And my belly is full, my family is kept...
Job well done my son?
May the good Lord say, "yep".


Monday, January 16, 2017

Growing tired

Same games,
same silences,
same unfulfilled hopes,
same unanswered prayers,
and same unmanifested dreams.