Monday, March 12, 2018

Revelation revealed.

Relentless spirits constantly attacking my mind...
trying to find if my will will sustain or if there's a weakness
that they can reveal in order to instill a tightly woven sin to confine.
One, unlike the others prior, more difficult to unwind.
So, I tread lightly.
I fast to increase my strength.
I censor my doings and viewings...
praying that my days will grow in length.
However, my human-ness... male-ness... weakness...
reveals itself and they attack...
And back in my muck of sin, I find myself in...
and this time, much worse than the beginning.
Ashamed, I withdraw to myself.
Dear Lord help me get back on track.
Heard with a devilish grin, it's too late for that.
And it's in this weakness, in this low state of being and mind...
I call and submit unto the Lord, praying that guidance, strength, and mercy I'll find.
For on my own, I realize it can't be done.
As close as I may get... it's only close, but with Jesus... Yashua...
it can be won... and done.


Friday, October 6, 2017


Rubies drip.
So precious, like diamonds & coal.
Streams & rivers of heat
Glistening, shining, burning from the soul
Emitting flames into the sky
Like burning black gold.

Taken for granted by many.
So desperately needed by few
Pierced, mined for, sought after
Oceans of souls nectar.
Wading through the water with a pan
Hoping for a match, the perfect nugget for two.

Easily transfused.
Diluted and polluted.

Our precious resource depleted.

Earths' blood.




Tis a way to explain...
the life I gain... and the existence I've been left to explore.
Until that glorious day when only peace remains...
or should I say... I exist no more.


Heaven and hell.
Spirit and flesh.
Good and evil.
Wealth and impoverished.

Make sense of the ineffable.
Life lived to dream.
Only to realize the knowledge I've gained...
taught me... I know nothing.

Grasping for truth...
only to hold on to lies.
Searching for love,
but taught to despise.

A mere gander at the world shows that I am not alone.
Many are oblivious... or...
simply refuse to acknowledge what life has shown.
By examples of extreme.


Foolish and wise.
Mortals and God.
Powerful and weak.
Easy and hard.

Puppets on strings...
Living lives that are a fa├žade.
Meaningless goals set by humans...
When the true game is between the devil and God.

You and I.

Yet, we dare not expand our minds.
Instead we waste our time...
Acquiring things, believing that they, or a person,
will bring meaning to life.

When the true meaning of life is... the journey.
The paths and the choices,
the existence...



Are You there?

Passionate cries internally and outloud.
Humbly moving, doing, working...
repressing anger, doing my best to not act out.

Festering, pestering emotions neglectfully leak out.
Spilling forth a rawness, a brashness, a straight-forwardness...
Basically, becoming an asshole to all who come around.

You see,

I've been mentally wore down.

Down on my knees,
forehead on the ground,
tears strolling down my face,
I make my petition to the Almighty
Hoping that a slither of a blessing,
a drop of financial relief,
an inkling of prosperity
could enter my life.
Becoming the grace that he bestows me, increasing my belief.

However, that doesn't seem to be the case.
And disrespect...
seem to be the attributes that He's tied around my waist.

At times I wonder...

Do you care?
Did you hear my prayer?
Is this my lot in life?
Hardship, struggle, and strife.

It's all unknown.
I have so many questions.
I try to keep the faith.
But it's hard when an all powerful, all knowing God...
see's what you are going through...
And all of His answers to your prayers are either"No" or "Wait."


Monday, July 17, 2017


Carnal, times have been rough.
My mind constantly replays stuff.
I miss the days of old,
when I would feel like this, I would
jump a fence or two and come see you.
You'd be like "fuck that shit! Let's go find something to get into".
Now age comes into play.
Your house is thousand of miles away.
It would be a lie if I said that I was cool.
I miss our youth, now I'm called,
"Old school".
Young folks don't have no respect.
Because I'm afraid of the consequences,
the laws have me in check.
Making me keep my hands off of these young folks
and my shank out of they neck.
I never thought that DCash would be in check.
S3P perplexed.
19,16 steps
1 to the 3 heavy reps.
Blood in my body flowing,
causing pulsating veins in my neck.
Right side soldiers wearing skinny jeans
got me ready to disconnect.
Revitalize old folks,
back on the set...
and do what we do best...
cleanse the streets of the busters
and chillout like vets.

But times have changed.
Cell phones, cameras... shit, the fucking internet!
Things just aren't the same.
No such thing as loyalty
Pride or respect.
Can't treat women like queens,
they'd rather have a dude with feminine ways
wearing skinny jeans.

Brother, we are the last of a dying breed.

I'm trying to not let it get to me.
I don't want to catch a case, man.

We've come a long way from old days in the South Bay
of DCash and Spaceman.


Sunday, June 4, 2017

Hills and Valleys

I bought into the illusion whole-heartedly.
Strange how the, the scent... better yet, the glimpse..
of hope has kept me afloat.
The days turn into nights,
the nights grow into weeks,
the weeks expand into months...
Low and behold, look at the years.

Hills and valleys
Smiles and tears.

Heart-aches and struggles back then.
Heart-aches and struggles still here.

Hills and valleys.
Hills and valleys.
Less smiles, more tears.

Omniscient, omnipotent, most benevolent & gracious
omnipresent, and dare I say, true loving God...
Am I too little?  Too insignificant?  Too warm?
Or just bound to a life of struggling hard?

Love shouldn't be this difficult.
Life shouldn't be so complex.
The truth shouldn't be so unattainable.

(My life) Walk in the valley of the light and struggle the hills.
(The Wicked) While in the dark on level ground the wicked move and become blessed.
This reality of life has me stressed and the recurrence of this truth gives me chills.

Hills and valleys, I tell you.
Valleys and hills.


Thursday, March 30, 2017

Free will. I freely will.

Free will, a precious gift given.
Free to believe the hype.
Free to follow the masses.
Free to close your mind.
Free to wander around blind.


Free to see with clarity.

Blind,  I've followed.
Blind, I've read.
Blind, I've believed.
Blind, I became one of the walking dead.


Now my third eye has been opened.
Time to enhance my mind.
Time to prepare my spirit.
Time to ready my body.
Time to speak life over my life.
Ensure that my soul can hear it.