Not to be called by any other name

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Oh corruptible mind, lost in time.
Stuck in the past, future ahead seems so far behind.
Lost in my illusion ,or delusion should I say,
of emotions of grandeur.
More specifically those that love can portray.
All in my mind, the playing tricks on my heart.
It's just that I want something so bad- true love...
only to find a true farce.

Believing I'm special...
My love, my emotions, and all the affection that I have to give.
Only to find, which is always revealed in time, that I...
am no more special, unique, and/or complex than the last man.
Which I now realize, just like he probably did.

So, what is the purpose, the reason behind it all?
Live, enjoy life, eventually fall in love...
then for it all to be taken away and only be left with the fall.
Or maybe that dreaded phrase, "let's just be friends" or
"I'll give you a call".

Does that mean live life bitter?
Not look forward to falling in love at all?
Most definitely not, always look forward to the upliftment, not the fall.
Don't focus on the initial emotion or the commotion that it can bring.
Learn to love yourself for who and what you are.
Once that's done, your heart will sing.

Sing of praises, sing of joy. The partner that you attract then will be true.
Not just a fleeting moment of lustful noise.
They will love you for you and you will love them for the friends that you have became.
It won't be based on lustful acts or physical attributes
Or maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, in love with love,
not to be called by any other name.

~Flowriter

Help Required

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Painfully known the lack of love shown.
Knowing that I should leave, my heart bereaved.
Unable to move, the muscles in my heart torn.
Always on my knees begging the Lord please...

Enable me.

Stuck in the mist.
Pecked on the lips by an empty unfeeling kiss.
Wondering if...this is all that life has for me.
Yet, I still have hope.
But, it's getting harder to cope.

Oh Lord, please enable me.

Affection...gone.
Tenderness...amiss.
The act of making love...
Replaced by meaningless sex.
Oh Lord, I desire so much more than this.

Enable me.

Empty touches.
Cold stares.
Words devoid of love.
Thoughts of the future lack care.
Where to go from here...
I'm unaware.

Enable me.

~Flowriter

My Love... Where art thou?

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It was days ago and it was here.
Encompassing my whole being.
Reaching deep down into my soul.
Caressing my essence, uplifting my spirit.

And then where did it go?

I was so overpowered by her glow.
I admit a few days went by.
That all I did, at night, was lay by her side.
Happy, I admit.
Thinking, this is as good as it'll get.
Never did I imagine...
that she would be experiencing neglect.

Missing my touch.
Needing my love.
Wanting my embace.
Desiring to render my manhood weak,
after having its nectar to taste.

Having fantasies of deep strokes,
tantalizing licks, & ample tongue tricks.
Dreams of moans, screams, and unsatisfied nightmares awoke.

Her anger, mood swings, and irritability....
All of this I provoked!

It was the feeling of the emotions that I was attached...
That had me feeling fully satisfied.
Problem was I wasn't giving anything back.
And what arose appeared as if our love had died.

Being a man of many questions, I had answers to pursue.
When not given sufficient answers to my questions...
The arguments would ensue. And yes, do to all this frustration...
Next thing you know, the attitudes grew.

She would look at me like you silly silly man.
I would be sitting on the couch with a beer in my hand...
Thinking and feeling totally confused.
Saying to myself,

It was days ago and it was here.
Encompassing my whole being.
Reaching deep down into my soul.
Caressing my essence, uplifting my spirit.

And then where did it go?

(Miscommunication at its best)

~Flowriter

To my wife,

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I never wanted to be a man with his head in the sand,
oblivious to his surroundings, with no clue of what’s going on.
Taking for granted all that he has…
Not knowing if in the next steps…
Would have himself and his love on separate paths.

Looking back in the past, I can’t even laugh, it makes me sad.
The choices I made, the things I’ve done…
Not only did I hurt myself, I hurt my special ones.
And from all of those choices, I can’t even take back one.
I ended up losing you and that’s when the change begun.

GOD began to work on me. I’m not saying that HE’S through.
But the seed of change was planted in me…
And as time went on, the seed grew.
Never would I have imagined, at that time, I would end up back with you.
But when I did, I knew exactly what to do… Again, I married you.

This time, I wanted no regrets.
I envisioned a life of love, hanging in there in the good times and through the bad mess.
Being faithful when it would be easy to cheat,
Closing my mouth, opening my ears, and actually listening to you when you speak.
I understand that you are not less than, you are my equal, my true help meet.

Back then was just a passage,
Like the secondhand of a clock.
Something we went through, but continued to move.
Not anything that we were stuck in, because life doesn’t stop.
I’m stronger than what I was then,
Now, I won’t run when things get hot.
I’m in it for the long haul and I’m going to give it all I got.

Now, our job is to keep our eyes & mind focused on the journey ahead.
Learn from all that we’ve been through & concentrate on the life we’re living…
Not the past we’ve had that’s dead.
It’s understandable to be cautious,
Because of the mistakes that were made.
Just don’t be so fixated on the past that you fail to see that I’ve changed.

I don’t want to be the man that I was. I’m better than that. I’m the man that GOD made.
And you are the woman that HE’S placed in my life.
I know that you are going to treat me good.
I know that I’m going to treat you right.
I know that I’m blessed, especially with this second chance…
That’s why I thank GOD everyday that you’re my wife...
And I'll do anything for you.

Love,
Your Husband ~Flowriter