Realizing that time is an elusive foe.
Unable to grasp it, bribe it, or for the loss of better words, persuade it.
I found myself seeking a higher power.
The one who created it, time that is.
Asking Him to help me in this time controlled world.
Only to find that my requests were going unanswered.
Leaving me to the wiles of time,
only to grant me pain, sorrow, a plethora of regrets, and calling them wisdom...
better known as age.
Struggling in areas that before I did with ease.
Cautious of movements, because I am consequence aware, that...
at times, no movements are made.
Given the vision of seer, but not of mystical intent.
Just the beauty of age that allows empathetic conclusions.
No longer does the magic of hope hold its luster.
For it only delivers the dependable disappointment aftertaste of dreams long lost...
and plans unable to be achieved.
Distractions are all I have to look forward to.
For when the cataracts has been removed from my eyes...
and I'm able to regain focus, it is them, the distractions, that always remain true.
More powerful than my will,
more clearer than my vision,
more pleasurable than my touch,
more alive than my life...
And although imagined, never manifested...
they always manage to keep me right where I wish to grow from.
All the meanwhile time continues.
More age is gained.
If it isn't, death is granted, and a unfulfilled life is achieved.
Time, what a terrible enemy.
Enemy... Strange word.
En e me.
In my head, not real to touch. Something that I relinquished my strength to,
making it more powerful than it is. Weakening my spirit, corrupting my soul,
making me less than what I was designed to be, because I relinquished my control.
And still, the great God, who created all that is and ever was.
The knower of the beginning from and to the end.
Knew this struggle that I am in and He allows it to be.
Knew of the financial battles that I would and do face...
and, at least in my limited sight, victory seems afar.
Patience, I tell myself.
Endure, I remind myself.
It's only for a short time, I say.
Soon, it will all turn around.
Then, time takes all that away.
Time, what a great and formidable foe.