Docile

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Oh how I loathe the word.
Join with it compliant, submissive, and most definitely weak.
Anytime I feel one of them coming on, rage rears in me.

Rage, because of the broken spirits,
the taken lives, the destroyed families,
the backs full of stripes, the children molested,
the mothers raped, and fathers beaten and hung...
Rage, because of the laws of this place.

Rage, waiting for God's vengeance to be done.

Docile. I say it with distaste in my mouth.

Oh the evil that men do. Am I not a man too?

So many hopes have been bought...
with the illusion of assimilation or so thought.
Still only to remain a single grain...
with no hope of ever becoming a beach.
Extend your reach! Refuse to be...

Docile.

Comfortable, complacent, or for that matter, at ease.
Rise to where you belong. Don't allow "the word" to silence your need.
Misconstrued, manipulated, and dictated to tell you what to believe.
Read, learn, and then move... for yourself.
Desire nothing less to become a King or Queen!

Go along to get along and become a victim of all that is wrong.
Trust me, I know, for this ranting that I am doing is because...
I've been docile for so long.

~Flowriter.

He's Trying to Kill Me

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Ooo wee!!!
He's trying to kill me.

He's fought my heart.
He's fought my mind.
He floods my conscious... with thoughts other than divine.
He uses his dominions...
Imps of all kinds.

Spiritual demons, invisible to the eye,
But it's the soul that they wish to touch.
It's not by my strength that I'm lifted.
It's the Lord that keeps me up.
Up in this fight against the devil and his evil steed.
Chasing my perseverance,
causing my soul to bleed.

Bleed... lyrics of pain,
lyrics of love,
poetical prose,
and all the other depressive adjectives that you can think of.

For a writer.

Yet, here I am.
Here I stand.
Descendant of Ishmael, Isaac...a seed of Abraham.
Al-hamdu lillahi rabbil 'alamin.
It's by the blood of Jesus the Christ that I am kept clean.

Yet, the fight continues.
Each blow he throws he thinks is the coup de grâce.
But, the Lord abounds me, His angels surround me.
With His righteous right hand He lifts me.
Masha Allah!
I praise Him with hands uplifted... I stand.
Muslim... Christian?
He tries to divide me.
Child of God is what I am.

The battle is so difficult, you see,
because he knows too.
He's done peeked into my future,
trying to affect my present,
because in the past the Lord has pulled me through.

Whoooo.

He's trying to kill me.

But you see, that gives me hope.
That means I'm a threat.
That means my life has a purpose.
And that God isn't done with me yet.
There isn't anything that He wtrould allow me to endure...
that He won't enable me to go through.
I know it feels like an ongoing battle, but Jesus already won the fight.
Claiming the victory is the only thing that I have to do.
So, in hell, there's a gnashing and grinding of teeth.
A plethora of jinns, failures, because their mission couldn't be complete.
Their mission to steal my inheritance
And render my soul to eternal sleep.

That's why...

He's trying to kill me.


~Flowriter

Who Understands?

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Going home to a barren house.
Eating alone... not hearing a sound.
Laying down... no one else around.
No one to hold or to console.
Truly alone.
Days go by, not even a ring from the phone.

Who understands?

Only conversations are those between God and I.
Daily outings...
Going to the porch to look at the sky.
Puff on my cigar...
watch the planes go by.

Who understands?

The way the mind wanders.
Torturing the spirit with the past...
Making movement in the present stagnant...
The future is a dream that's continually thought.
Purpose in life... filled with "I aught".
And still, nothing is done.
The once free flowing stream of life...
Has become dammed on both ends.
Causing the ambitious spirit to be a breeding ground
for all that is unhealthy, especially sin.

Who understands?

The lowering of the guard.
Giving away what's been held dear.
Love.  Time. Heart.
To easily being thrown away and ignored.
And what was cherished... simply disappears.

Who understands?

Crying out to the Lord...
And Him, hearing your cry.
Even though, everything seems bleak...
A feeling of overwhelming peace soothes you inside.
His love, not only covers you, it fills you.
Giving you strength from within.
The loneliness, heartache, and fear...
all fade away as His spirit moves in you.
His will and plan, through His promises, becomes clear.
A boldness overtakes you...
You claim victory in your turmoil.
Victory in your strife.
Victory in your relationships.
Victory in your life.
Victory over your mind.
A realization that the struggle is your testimony.
A testimony for the divine.

Who understands?

Jesus does.


~Flowriter

The Cycle

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Have you seen? Do you know?
How the depths of love can torture so.
Leaving trails of wetness,
more than on the face,
but deep down to the soul.
The giving of the heart only for trust to be aloof.
Disappear with cold callous words, stern looks,
and poof...
It's gone.
Leaving reminiscent memories of what was
And dreams of what could be
Yet, afraid of the pain...
If things don't work out correctly.
Making love and unattainable dream.

For, to attain it, you must let down your guard
Give it unconditionally,
even though your heart bares scars.
Look past the short comings,
endure intentional pain,
regardless of how hard... time and time again.

Why? You say.
For the pain of having it
is better than the pain of its decay.
Rotting away at your heart,
corrupting your mind,
breaking down your spirit.
To save yourself you pray to the divine.

Hoping for a change.
Hoping for a start.
Hoping for a rekindling,
restoration of a once live dying heart.

Truth of the matter is...
Trust is the for runner
And is where everything begins.
Once it has been broken,
Passionate lovers wither into distant friends...
Then, even that ends.

And only the pain remains.

It burrows deep, deep into your mind.
In crevices that you didn't know exists.
Until that day, someone comes your way
promising love, passion, loyalty, and eternal friendship.
It rears its ugly head while shaking its defiant fists.

Not again.



~Flowriter.

something to ponder

Now I lay me down to sleep

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Morbidly dark the heart begins to spark
Providing the brain with the nutrients to sustain
the pain of memory.

Making me lost in what was.
Having me hoping for what can be.
Plaguing my mind in the what ifs mystery.

Steps taken are so cautiously made
Decisions overwhelm, therefore stagnant, I became.
Or should I say become?
For movement forward doesn't happen.
Because it is to the past that I run.

To and from.

Attempting to save my life.
Only to lose my soul.
Wanting to share my essence.
Completing my personage, making me whole.
An unattainable goal.

When there is no trust.
When I'm lacking faith.
Asking God for guidance,
only for me to stray.

The battlefield is truly in my mind.

Yet, evil does lurk.
Watching and waiting for the right time to pounce.
All residents of righteousness, they attempt to remove
from my bodily house.
Dark spirits corrupting my thoughts
Having me question myself
Filling my mind with doubt.
Telling me to "kill yourself"
As if there is no other way out.

But that... I know is a lie.

Hope keeps me alive.
Waiting for His promises to manifest.
Day by day I strive.
Thinking this is the day I will encounter the Lord's best.
Only to experience another failed test.

Not by Him, but by me.

For I follow the flesh
When it should be the spirit leading me.
I've embraced the world
comparing myself to its success stories.

Which, at times, can be God's failures.

My due diligence is gone.
Making it difficult to purposely perform.
My focus is wrong.
Too much time spent straying and alone.
I remember...
I knew who I was when I made His Word my home.

Time to return to the basics.

I pray to the Lord my soul to keep.

~Flowriter

'Tween

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Tis a way to explain...
the life I gain... and the existence I've been left to explore.
Until that glorious day when only peace remains...
or should I say... I exist no more.

'Tween...

Heaven and hell.
Spirit and flesh.
Good and evil.
Wealth and impoverished.

Make sense of the ineffable.
Life lived to dream.
Only to realize the knowledge I've gained...
taught me... I know nothing.

Grasping for truth...
only to hold on to lies.
Searching for love,
but taught to despise.

A mere gander at the world shows that I am not alone.
Many are oblivious... or...
simply refuse to acknowledge what life has shown.
By examples of extreme.

'Tween...

Foolish and wise.
Mortals and God.
Powerful and weak.
Easy and hard.

Puppets on strings...
Living lives that are a façade.
Meaningless goals set by humans...
When the true game is between the devil and God.

For...
You and I.

Yet, we dare not expand our minds.
Instead we waste our time...
Acquiring things, believing that they, or a person,
will bring meaning to life.

When the true meaning of life is... the journey.
The paths and the choices,
the existence...

'tween.

~Flowriter