Time

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Realizing that time is an elusive foe.
Unable to grasp it, bribe it, or for the loss of better words, persuade it.
I found myself seeking a higher power.
The one who created it, time that is.
Asking Him to help me in this time controlled world.
Only to find that my requests were going unanswered.
Leaving me to the wiles of time,
only to grant me pain, sorrow, a plethora of regrets, and calling them wisdom...
better known as age.
Struggling in areas that before I did with ease.
Cautious of movements, because I am consequence aware, that...
at times, no movements are made.
Given the vision of seer, but not of mystical intent.
Just the beauty of age that allows empathetic conclusions.
No longer does the magic of hope hold its luster.
For it only delivers the dependable disappointment aftertaste of dreams long lost...
and plans unable to be achieved.
Distractions are all I have to look forward to.
For when the cataracts has been removed from my eyes...
and I'm able to regain focus, it is them, the distractions, that always remain true.
More powerful than my will,
more clearer than my vision,
more pleasurable than my touch,
more alive than my life...
And although imagined, never manifested...
they always manage to keep me right where I wish to grow from.
All the meanwhile time continues.
More age is gained.
If it isn't, death is granted, and a unfulfilled life is achieved.
Time, what a terrible enemy.

Enemy... Strange word.
En e me.
Inner me.
In my head, not real to touch. Something that I relinquished my strength to,
making it more powerful than it is.  Weakening my spirit, corrupting my soul,
making me less than what I was designed to be, because I relinquished my control.

And still, the great God, who created all that is and ever was.
The knower of the beginning from and to the end.
Knew this struggle that I am in and He allows it to be.
Knew of the financial battles that I would and do face...
and, at least in my limited sight, victory seems afar.

Patience, I tell myself.
Endure, I remind myself.
It's only for a short time, I say.
Soon, it will all turn around.
Then, time takes all that away.

Time, what a great and formidable foe.




~Flowriter

How Did I Get To This Point?

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How did I get to this point?

Mental delusions that come to lustful conclusions.
Desiring to drink from my own well,
but physically impotent regardless of the medicine I've been using.

Somewhere along the line, I got lost.
Mentally tossed from this to that.
At one time my walk with the Lord was so strong...
Now, I don't know how to get back.
On track.

Imagine that.

Demons no longer pursue me.
They found me...
wishing to ground me...
For no reason at all I find my heart pounding.
Fear is compounding... and my strength...
is fleeting.  It's beginning to be reminiscent of the wind...
Something that I feel, but unable to grab.
Leaving me in this weak state that I'm in.

Tell me...

How did I get to this point?

I hear the chuckles and giggles of old friends and passerby's.
Lovers that once adorned me, ignore me,
and at home, where it should get  better, I'm fed lies.
Another part of my heart, no, my soul dies.
For I cater to her needs, add to her things that she may flaunt.
Yet, none of it matters because I can't deliver her wants.
Having me question my manhood.
I'm telling you, it isn't all good.

How did I get to this point?

I know.

I've allowed the illusion to become my reality.
The distractions captured my attention.
My journey almost a forgotten mission.
The clanging of the world over-ride my Guide,
making it difficult for me to listen.
My soul being fed garbage,
my spirit malnourished,
and brain to focused on the physical,
and in this battle,
spiritually inefficient.

So, in this weak state...
being this broken man...
being this lost soul,
and almost believing the lie that I'm doomed to be damned.
I cry out unto the Lord;
for it is He that remains constant.
Only I am in disarray.  I surrender all that I am...
                    or thought that I ever was.
To be nestled in His bosom,
lead by His hand,
encompassed with His purpose,
spiritually fed through His wisdom,
with the understanding that I, by His grace,
through all things... can stand.
Especially when empowered by the true...  I AM.

And this is how I will move on from this point.


~Flowriter

Forward

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I'm at a age where the magic of the world is beginning to disappear.
Where love is dwindling and faith in people...
Well, let's just say it doesn't live in here.
In here, being my being...
My mind, soul.
It's quite honest to say that my spirit is focused elsewhere.
The wonderings on and what could possibly make me whole.
My purpose if you will.
My creators perfect design of life and in it where I fit.
And if... this existence that I contain is all that I'm left to live.

In my youth, hope and the possibilities of the life to come
kept me motivated, invigorated, and in anticipation.
However, those days are long gone.
Life has showed me my mistakes
and no matter how much time has passed...
from certain things, life refuses to let me move on.

Still, as dreadful as my life has become...
Uneventful and boring.
I find peace in knowing that all of this...
regardless of all of that...
will one day be done.


~Flowriter

Used

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Trust...
Truth...
Seldom known
Often misconstrued.
Hard to believe that the ones closest to you...
that these are the tactics they use to abuse.

Reality is... that you (I) don't mean much.
That desire for closeness, family.
Is the illusion that we desire, but has us out of touch.
For, my presence...essence...
is only used to get through.
It's my past that's remembered, embittered,
and held on to.

In an effort to enhance the illusion...
Changes are made,
plans are laid, and
sacrifices by the dozens.
Only in the end to realize we've been played.
Which was their plan from the beginning...
even when they said it wasn't.

Truth...

The years that has passed...
The experiences that went unshared...
The moments that I was cried for...
wished for...
and was never there.
I wish to rekindle...
I pray to embrace...
I long to relive.
Yet, it's only regret...
day after day that I face.

Trust...

Time has continued.
And individuals have grown.
I have aged, and yet,
my mistakes live on.
Feelings have changed
love for me has dwindled to a drip.
While my replacements, love for them,
like a raging river, love flows on.
And still, my illusion won't let me quit.

You see,
It's all that I have to hold on to.
The dream, the desire, the wish...
to be closer than what I am,
to be truly loved for who I've become,
and not who I was.
To be seen for the man that I am,
and to believe that that is more desirable
than achieving retribution, revenge on
the boy that I was.

That is where my hope lies
and my truth lives.

Truth...
Trust.



~Flowriter

Something to Ponder

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If I was to tell you that evil doesn't exist,
would you believe me?
Or would you ponder on the happenings in the world.
Then come to the conclusion that I was lying?

Hmmmmm...

Both are true.
Evil doesn't exist,
but is manifested by the choices that are made.
Demons are powerless
and can not exist in a pure soul.
But those who CHOOSE to give in to sinful nature
welcome evil and empower demons to dwell within.

This is how evil is manifested in the world.

Nothing is by happenstance.
The Bible calls it testing.
In nomenclature of today
it is giving in to your unmoral, fleshly desires.
This plants a seed... that grows like a weed.
Spreading to every part of your mental, physical and spiritual body.
Pulling your strings,
creating a mental screen...
that will invade your mind, heart, soul and dreams.
Until it becomes your actions.

Voila, evil exist.



~Flowriter

My Lord

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Almighty creator, my most benevolent God.
My heart, mind, body, and soul cry out to thee.
Have mercy on me.
Precious are your precepts,
they are my most valuable guide.
Yet, this world... my Lord
has your child severely tried.
My up has become down,
My aspirations have become unfound,
And my spirit is beginning to sullenly drown.

Help me my Lord.

Dreams seem unattainable,
a way out... unfathomable.
So, my hopes and dreams I place at your feet.
Only you can replenish my soul
With your manna of heavenly meat.
And this ache in my heart...
And this loneliness I feel...
Only you are able to heal and complete.

Touch me my Lord.

I await for your unmerited favor,
And for my blessings to pour down and pool.
And for the day to come that I'll savor...
when You make my enemies my footstool.
For the lies and secrets told in the dark,
to be exposed in the light.
For the emptiness I contain inside...
to be filled with your essence,
therefore enabling my spirit to shine bright.

I need you my Lord.

To reveal my purpose,
then give me the strength and courage to move in it.
To enhance my confidence and endurance,
So that my race, I can successfully finish.
To streamline my focus,
So the distractions of this world, I no longer see.
To impart upon me knowledge and wisdom,
So that I, not only will be Your man...
I will be a man that can lead.

Breathe on me Lord.

Unhinge me from my past
that this world constantly reminds me of and shadows me all day.
Free me from the ridicule of what was,
and bathe me in the new man that you created me to be.
Basically,
I need more of you Lord...
and less of me.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.



~Flowriter

Flows just poet This

(Try this one forward and backwards, top to bottom. Then upside down, bottom to top forwards and backwards. )

Poets.
Come.
Shining Through
Embers bright, dark of Night
Light compelled, as well Misconstrued
Enhanced poetically, this witches Brew
Dance spiritually, artist of spoken words Chant
Back-ground, drums are lulling, fire around Circling,
Back down stamped hands, heads moving forward and back Jerking.
Hurting, the mind, while fingers still ...Snap
See I, is it working? Think so, Black.
Flow I Think?
Flows just poet This...
This as Just.
Spirit Creative.
Free.

~Flowriter

Hey

Any comments? I would love to hear from you. :-)

5 Senses

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Eyes...

See the pain.
See the hurt.
See how life works.
See the blessings from above.
See GOD's love.
Read GOD's word.

Ears...

Hear the message.
Hear the song.
Hear of lifes wrongs.
Hear the words.
Hear the praises of those moving on.
Listen to the testimonies of the strong.

Mouth...

Speak of love.
Speak your story.
Speak of HIS glory.
Speak HIS word.
Speak the truth.
Talk to the elderly and the youth.

Nose...

Smell the roses.
Smell the daisies.
Smell the freshness of the air when the season changes.
Smell the fragrance of love.
Smell the ink while I write.
Inhale the Holy Spirit and exhale life.

Fingers...
Feel a kind face.
Feel the cheeks when they smile.
Feel tears as they roll down.
Feel the heart beat of a child.
Feel the strength of a helping hand.
Touch someones' heart as many times as you can.

In all my senses...
In all that I am.
I will give praise and glory to GOD!

~Flowriter

Where I Come From

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Where I come from?

Let me take you to a passage back in my youth.

You see the brother in that Cadillac,
bull horns in the front, got three women, and a gold tooth.
That's my uncle.

How about that dude over there?
Afro pick in his hair.
Yeah, the one with muscles, loves to rob, and hustle.
That's my uncle too.

That lady that you see, standing next to me,
short and fine, getting hit on by someone, but not paying him no mind.
That's my mom.

Now, come on in my house. Have a seat. Let this all marinate, enjoy the scenery.

Hear toes tap as jazz tracks flip riffs, smoke drifts, and it ain't no cigarettes.
It's just that herbal essence natural and pure.
See the people dance, women in hot pants,shaking and gyrating
All in my living room, like it's a dance floor.

Hear that brother yell..."Ay youngblood, just got out of jail"
Initiate a weird handshake,see slight move the hand makes
as he takes what the other brother had to sell.

Yeah, this is where I come from.

See the way that my uncle walk?
Hear him when he speaks? That's pimp talk.
He got a girl on each side and one behind.
Check him out, watch on his hand,
but making the girl tell him the time.
Pimpin'!

My other uncle, standin' over the dice game
Just got out of jail. It's ashame already contemplating.
I know what's on his mind.
Crime.

You see, I'm a product of this environment.
This is where I come from.

Flash forward, let's skip ahead.

See that dude on that block?
The one in the white shell toe adidas, black dickies, red shirt, and black hat.
Yeah, the one bending down goin' in his sock.
You know he sellin' rock and gangbangin' at that!
Yeah, that was me.

Doin' more dirt and had more money than I could fold.
Looking like a grown man, hair on my face, and arms that's swoll...only 16 years old.
Look at all my homies, most of them are mexican, only a few are black
Steadily tossin' up gang signs as we cross the railroad tracks.
Where I come from? Let me tell you somethin' about that.
Back then I would've told you S.Tray.P
And then would've asked you, "Where's your heart at?"

And that's all just a glimpse
Of the life that made me who I am,
but I still have more to grow.
Therefore, where I come from doesn't seem as important
as where I'm going to go.

~Flowriter

SEY

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Hey there sweetness.
How have you been?
It's been so long since I've seen your smile.
And right about now, I'd settle for your grin.

I remember when your eyes would light up,
your teeth would glow,
your hugs were overwhelming,
and your kisses... would steal the show.
You'd alert the whole house
"Daddy's home".

Boy, how time flies.
Look at you now and that you've become.
And you are only beginning,
I know that there's so much more that you're going to get done.

So independent, standing on your own.
I couldn't be more proud.
No longer a princess,
you are a queen and you deserve the throne.


~Flowriter

Just Saying

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"What goes around comes around".


Wishful thinking at best.

"Treat others how you want to be treated".

Trust me, you'll end up being treated like steps.

It's amazing to me the vile, rude, and outright disrespectful nature of people today.
The blatant liars, game players, and outright betrayers.

And trust, it's not the strangers!  It's those closest to you that hurt you the most.
To try to protect yourself, you don't allow anyone close.

Leaving you lonely, in a gang all by yourself, ain't got no homies.

So, you say " I'll be better.  I'll treat people good".
End up being a welcome mat for everyone in the hood.

But, it will get better.  This you should know.  With age, you'll come to a point
where the feelings, words, and thoughts of others won't affect your flow.

Eyes focused on the prize.
Mind fully set.
Body more than able.
And those who get in the way...
Let's just say, them... you'll forget.

No one pays attention to squashed bugs anyway.


~Flowriter

Okay, I'll Tell You Something

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Something real.
Something tangible.
Something of literal and emotional significance.
Something eye opening.
Something mind blowing.
Something relevant...
to before, now, and the time to come.
Something...
That you truly aren't ready for.

Being a "Black" American we have lost our culture,
lost our rhythm, lost our unity, lost our belief.
Raised to hate ourselves and disillusioned to believe
that "keeping it real" is keeping it street.

Which is ignorant.


~Flowriter

As If I Was The Only One

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Encroach upon my sadness
Peek into my misery
Dive into my emptiness
Experience my abyss
The place where you once existed,
but now fail to exist.

Heartache is my norm
Pain keeps me warm
Loneliness is my friend
And love...
Simply the emotion used to guarantee harm.

I move in truth,
but I'm directed by lies.
The twinkle in my eyes
Seems to be the glimmer that you despise.
However, it being there enables you to utilize...

Manipulation
Of the female persuasion
Absence of conversation
Only body language
And words said with hesitation...

I love you.

 As if I was the only one.


~Flowriter