Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Don't Be Tricked!

Tis a delusion...
the confusion
that misery can display.

An optical illusion
on the mind is played
and through the eyes portrayed

Yet, it's the holding on,
believing in, having faith and hope for...
that an escape is made.

The reason for countless sleepless nights
that prayers are prayed

Only to realized that you are saved.

There's no blessing without a battle,
But know that battles not yours.

Instead of holding it in, give it to GOD,
the battle is the LORDs'.

This is but a single beat in the drumming of life.
Your breakthrough is coming,
just as the sun shines its light dissipating the night.
You too, out of this darkness, will be bright.
Refocus your mind and eyes,
Step out of the boat,
Keep your eyes on CHRIST.
GOD won't let you sink.
HE loves you more than you think.

Not obtaining HIS promises and your dreams
is only an illusion the adversary uses
to try to destroy you and have you focus on the wrong things.

Don't be tricked.


Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Pardon me while I get on my knees

This time...
I know that I can't do it on my own.
This time...
Will be different because I'm grown.
This time.

I've tried all that I know
Experienced highs and lows
Thought it would be different now
But this pain, I can't let go.
Seems mysterious to me...
The reason for and direction of this depressionate flow.
And how, at the same time,
Love can be so beautiful and painful.

Yet, I stand.

I stand as a believer.
I stand in YOUR hope.
I bask in YOUR mercy.
I wail in YOUR grace.

I lift my head up to the sky
As tear trails roll down my face.
I know that YOU are in control of...
my life, my destiny, my heart, and my fate.

YOU, I know, have a plan.
YOU are only taking me through, not leaving me in.
YOU are making me a better man
Therefore, in love with you...
I pray,
I stay,
I believe,
I hope...


I will continue to let YOU lead me by the hand.
I thank YOU for the guidance,
love and experience.

In YOUR son's holy and righteous name, JESUS,
I pray,



Tuesday, February 10, 2009



Take a journey with me back through time.
Hear the wind blow through the thistles
Have a seat on the porch and listen to the bells chime
Pardon GranDaddy's speech, don't have my front teeth, so I whistles... while I speak.

Today, I got you a little treat.
I'ma tell you a story about a time way back.
Where music was music and a cd was a 8 track.
I know you don't remember that...
we used to have to push a button, you'd hear a noise...
Clack, clack.
Next song. Haaa!

With a glide in my stride,
Tilt in my brim hat,
tooth pick in my mouth,
and with the cleanest threads on my back...
Your GranDaddy thought that he was all that.
Back in that day, I guess it's like yourn...
Being a man is what you became
Being a boy is how you were born.
Even though I wasn't of age
When I stepped outside,
I thought the world was my stage.

Yeah, I had a young mans' mentality.

I was just that clean.
I was just that tough.
Known to hold my own in a fight.
Girls...I just couldn't get enough, but...
didn't stay with none longer than one night.
See, my player game was tight.
I made my money on and under the table.
Had a reputation of keeping the money in flight.
Which made me feel POWERFUL.
I thought that I was holding all the cards.

Then one day, all that changed,
I was outside my momma's door
when four brothers walked across the yard.
Showing hand signs and saying ESP Gang.
Asking me where I'M from
And what do I want to do.
Kept calling me blood
And over the next 15 to 20 minutes, I tasted blood too.
They robbed me and knocked out my front two.
Which made me feel victimized, ashamed...
anything, but POWERFUL.

Embarrassed, I stayed in the house.
Didn't want to go out. I knew they lived close by.
Till one day, momma, with a switch in her hand,
Said get out this house, be a man and fight, and you better not cry.
I mustered up all the strength I could get.
It wasn't even one on one, but I took them on and won.
Again, I felt POWERFUL, but this time I had respect.

They didn't mess with me anymore.
I still thought that I had game.
And after all that...I knew the girls would let me score.

Then I met BabyDoll.

Instantly fell in love, a love struck dummy.
Anything she wanted I would buy.
It wasn't long before I was just giving her my money.
And when she wouldn't see me, I'd cry...my emotions had me blue.
Which made me feel used, taken for granted...anything but POWERFUL.
She had stopped answering my calls and I didn't know why.
On the way to her house, I saw her with another guy.
That first heart break had me depressed for a long time.

But through all that....
Going from a boy playing games
To being a man taking care of thangs.
I learned that when you have a good woman,
You treat her right, make her your wife.
Don't let no one disrespect your family,
honor, or threaten to take your life.
And always do what's right by you and by others.
Trust me...
That's a POWERFUL lesson to learn.
Learn it now.


Monday, February 9, 2009

Look Deep Into These Eyes

Look deep into these eyes,
Let me tell you what I see.
This is my daughter, my child
who usually emits a glow, but sometimes
you can get a glimpse of the pain she feels internally.
This picture was taken three years ago on her birthday.
I called her, we talked, but neither one of us had much to say.
I took it as her having an attitude
And she probably took it as me having the same.
I just got this picture today
Looking into her eyes,
Changed everything.
You see, she was my best friend who I took everywhere.
She was Daddy's little girl.
Then years and a divorce later
She was lead to believe that Daddy didn't care.
I had moved away
And all she knew was Daddy wasn't there.
So, when I look at this picture, and stare deep into those eyes...
I see a little girl who is becoming a woman
that wishes her Daddy was in her life.
~Flowriter(Sorry, I can't even finish)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Suicide deferred by a time to murder

I've sat on this couch
I've stared out the window
I've comptemplated my consequences
And I even already begun
Half of the pill bottle is empty
Saving the other half for after I load the gun.

I lived this same existence over and over.
My life seems meaningless
I know... they say it's times like this,
that you should find someone to talk to.
I've talked. I've listened. But now I'm through.
People are still so cruel.

(Pointing the gun at my head)
Right at that moment
Who knew, my life would be saved by the news.
News flash they said,
Young boy, 5th grader,
found hanging in the bathroom dead.
(moving the pistol from my temple to the tip of my nose)
I listened as they said,
This 5th grader committed suicide at school, in the bathroom, they suppose.

Hung himself...
I sat there on the couch and my eyes closed.
I listened to the mothers' cries and comtemplated the reasons why.
Knowing all she did was send him to school.
Hung himself? I turned off the news. I ain't no fool...
I know they're lying! In my mind, I could still hear the mother crying.
It was at that moment I changed my mind.

I closed my blinds.
Got out all my guns.
Comtemplated retribution.
Killing each and every guilty one
It was at that moment the affects of the pills I took begun
My eye lids began to shut,
My head began to fall,
My legs were heavy, and...
I couldn't move my body at all.
I fell to the floor
Thinking I was dying...
But I didn't want to die anymore.
There was a purpose for my life.
There's a reason for me to be.
There was people that I needed to kill
And I kept hoping that I didn't kill me.

(Everything went dark)

After that, everything was dark for a long time.
I guess you can say that I took it there and went much further.
The ironic thing of it all is I went from attempting suicide...
To doing triple life in prison for murder.


Tears of a Father, written by a Daddy

She said what!?
I can't believe that she made you feel that way.
Tears strolling down your eyes,
leaving sad trails on your face.
Was it something you did? It must be.
She spoke to you like that?
Last time you seen her she was only three?
I can tell the sadness is overwhelming you, taking over your being.
All I can is pray about it, prayer sets the heart free.
But, I can't believe that she spoke to you like that.
Said such horrible things.
I know, you haven't been around much...
Don't call and are always out of touch.
I know, you send funds for fun,clothes, and such.
It seems as if that just isn't enough.
Man, I know it's tough.
Being told you aren't her father.
She don't recognize you as family.
Calling you a stranger, while calling another man daddy.
Whew, I know that it must be hard...
Hearing your daughter say,
Momma, there's some strange man in the yard.
Then to go to her with open arms
And watch her run away.
It's hard seeing you like this,
But since you haven't been around
I can't believe that she made you feel that way.
Don't worry, I'll continue taking care of her, and you'll be okay.


Monday, February 2, 2009

Can You Imagine

Can You Imagine?

If you were the man/woman that you always desired to be.
If you had no fear of what you thought, say, or think.
If you could express yourself and everyone know what you mean.
If you, instead of sinfully, lived righteously, inspiring multitudes...the lowly and Kings/Queens
If as much effort you put into doing nothing, you put into doing everything
If you lived to uplift and to share
If when you spoke, people became aware.
If the movement of your body was like grace in motion
If your love was overflowing, so much so, that they could bottle it as a potion.
(give it to the bitter,downtrodden, and lonely as a topical lotion)
If you believed your mother, when she told you...you could be anything.
If you never settled for less and accomplished dream after dream.
If you never believed yourself when you said it was too late.
If you truly lived to the fullest day after day.
Can you imagine, if you didn't find any of this strange?
Imagine...If you'd change.